Posts Tagged ‘Steroids’

Straw Man Speaks

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

Steroids? But aren't they illegal?

Steroids? But aren't they illegal?


Darryl Strawberry admits that he would have done steroids if he played today. I would categorize this story in the column of “NO SHIT!” D-Straw is a man who is very familiar with the narcotics trade. In fact, it is probably a given that he had at least seen steroids at some point in the eighties and didn’t realize it because he was trippin so hard on his own chemical concoction. Asking Darryl if he would do steroids is like asking Shaq if he likes the Hometown Buffett. It’s a no brainer!

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Smoking Bud

Friday, February 13th, 2009

Excuse me? Did you say basshole?

Excuse me? Did you say basshole?


Bud Selig might suspend A-Roid for admitting he took steroids. I don’t normally give two shits about baseball or the idiot commissioner that runs the sport, but this is too much to pass up. Bud Selig will go down as the worst commissioner in the history of pro sports after it’s all said and done. He has allowed the rampant steroid use to go unchecked for years and now that the sport is crumbling in the wake of yet another superstar coming clean, he comes and out and pulls this. Now I am no A-Roid defender, but this statement by Selig reeks of inequity. First he needs to release the whole list. There are no secrets in the game anymore if it stands any chance at all at regaining credibility and integrity. And if he suspends A-Roid for coming clean, then he MUST suspend everyone on that list. They are no less guilty than he is.

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Hall of random bronze heads?

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

And here we have Vlad Guerrero's youngest illegitimate child

And here we have Vlad Guerrero's youngest illegitimate child


Joe Posnanski at SI is arguing that steroids should not prevent a player from entering the Baseball Hall of Fame. At this point, I am finding it harder and harder to disagree with him. I mean what the hell is the Hall of Fame anyway? Is it like some kind of time capsule so that if aliens came down from another planet we could show them our best players ever? Who exactly are we preserving these legacies for? In 500 years, I highly doubt that anyone will give a rat’s ass about some statues that will be a mile under the Atlantic ocean. By that time, our “national past time” will be transporting our cocks through time and space and gathering vagina dust to power our zeeble nabbers.

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Is the NBA juiced?

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

I can never find jeans that fit me.

I can never find jeans that fit me.


There are rumors now that the NBA is on the verge of it’s own steroid controversy. Fresh off the heels of the Tim Donaghy fiasco, the last thing the league needs is another PR nightmare like rampant steroids abuse. Fortunately, I believe that the abusers will be found to be a small group of pine riding white dudes. Once the light is shown on these warm-up wearing, non drafted, 1.2ppg seat fillers, I am sure that the general reaction of the public will be that of unmitigated laugher, as opposed to wide spread scorn. The only “drug problem” in the NBA has nothing to do with steroids, but with “other performance enhancers.”

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Another drug dealer defuses the Rocket

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

Smell this thumb. Is that Pettitte?

Smell this thumb. Is that Pettitte?


Kirk Radomski is an admitted steroids dealer that testified before a grand jury that Brian McNamee is telling the truth. Apparently Radomski is the one who taught McNamee everything he knew about HGH. This could be the biggest story in baseball in years, culminating in the conviction and defamation of a first ballot hall of fame candidate and the best witness they can find is a guy who knew a guy? Frankly the whole thing is beyond boring at this point. Anyone who still eats without the assistance of a handler knows that Clemens is guilty. The only thing remaining to be seen is whether or not our justice system is going to spit out another hilarious acquittal that is so clearly purchased through back door deals and shady litigation. God Bless America!

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