Carl’s advice to the Kids.

October 9th, 2009

oldwiseman
Listen up sonny, I have a few tidbits of knowledge I would like to impart upon you. You have been indoctrinated to believe things that are simply false and downright mean. You are being groomed to be a spoke of the bicycle wheel of commerce. Another ant crawling up the hill of enterprise. You are simply a piece of a puzzle that no one will ever see or appreciate. You will happily take your modest compensation package and under performing 401k plan and trudge home down the road of insignificance, only to wake again tomorrow and proceed to bang your head on the wall of life until you are so brain dead that the only things that stimulate your mind are bright flashing lights and loud obnoxious referee whistles. You are a simply a statistic. Nothing more, nothing less.

So here is my advice to you… Forget all that and stay at home. Don’t ever leave the comfort of your parent’s basement. Eat microwave dinners and charge pay per view to your dad’s credit card. Explore yourself daily and look for interesting new peaks and valleys on the landscape of your package. Sleep late and stay up later. Laugh at simple things, like a fly with a broken wing. Stare at the wall and see if it changes hue, even if ever so slightly. Try wearing a diaper for a week. Go completely mad and start sewing dresses furiously. Just don’t go outside. It’s scary out there. And you are not missing much.

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Random Chick for Duzak

October 6th, 2009
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Dunkin Delonte’s Donut Shack

July 14th, 2009

delonte_west_donuts_tshirt
Source

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Carl is tired.

April 29th, 2009

So as you have noticed, I haven’t made any updates in the last few days. Well, frankly I am burnt out from looking at too much air brushing and reading about 12 year old kids who robbed a convenience store. So Carl is going to take a little vacation and clean out his garage. Maybe grow some weed or something too. Maybe I will be back, maybe I won’t. Sorry to disappoint the following loyal readers:

Big Lud
Little Lud
Duzak

Wait, I think those are the ONLY loyal readers.

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Random Federica Ridolfi

April 23rd, 2009
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Random Links - April 23, 2009

April 23rd, 2009

Naked Wizard gets tasered at Coachella (video)
This German commercial is wonderfully sick
Beyonce is a terrible terrible singer in real life
10 ways to save money at a strip club
Jesus vs. The Burger King - who you got?
10 unintentionally homoerotic films
Get yourself some eco friendly sex toys
Daughter forced into prostitution to pay phone bill
HS kids whips penis out in class and start beating it
Cops arrest a kid for being drunk, whoops, he is autistic
Woman sues stores, claims homeless man beat her
Teacher sends boy, 5, home with bag of poo

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Random Top Gun Remake

April 23rd, 2009

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Sports Links - April 23, 2009

April 23rd, 2009

Michael Phelps is dating Miss California
30 moments in athlete camel toe history
The 8 extortion demands made against Rick Pitino
John Wall is the next big thing in B-Ball
The 15 ugliest athletes of all time
Ole Miss lineman can’t read
Ghetto golf combines golf with guns
Jay Cutler’s night life not an issue for Chicago Bears
Nick Saban blames the fans for the Sugar Bowl loss
Colt David’s has a hot little sister
Lions have Aaron Curry in the fold if Stafford doesn’t sign
Top 10 Defensive draft sleepers

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Hot Links - April 23, 2009

April 23rd, 2009

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Rihanna showing off a toned booty at the beach
Catrinel Menghia shows off jaw dropping contours
Reby Sky is cut like a diamond
Kellie Crawford is a hot Aussie cougar
Sophie Moon probably never pays for a taxi
Markesa is a girl I could share with my Dad
Eva Mendes seems to get better with age

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Random Yoko Matsugane

April 22nd, 2009
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